Day 135 - Motorbikes and Jetskis!

We have moved rooms now, to a triple, for which I am only paying 500 baht - these chaps are far too generous. I went out and hired a motorbike, after a little test run to see how I felt on one, as I hadn't driven one since my Koh Chang crash. We headed out for an awesome lunch (I had Mango and sticky rice for the first time - delicious) then drive up to the north of CHaweng beach, aiming to find some Paragliding/Jetski action. It was really windy on the beach, so it didn't look like either were an option, so we stopped off at Ark Bar for a drink and a couple of games of cards in the sun. Somehow it was already 5 o'clock when we saw that the Jetskis were in fact running, so we rushed over and each got 20 minutes on one of the smaller ones, for about £13 each. This turned out to be the best 800 baht I've spent since arriving in Thialand, the Jetskis were amazingly easy to drive, really responsive, and so much fun as you drove them into the waves, and dropped over the other side - literally dropped for a few feet through the air before slamming into the surf. We were riding in along the top of the waves, carving through gaps in between, and racing back towards shore - my top speed was 34 mph, Drucey's was 35. This incredible speed was somewhat terrifying on water, especially as the spray splashed into your face, blinding you for a few seconds each time. I took my underwater camera out with us, so hopefully I'll have some good pictures.

We headed back, enjoying the drive, then went out to the Thai boxing stadium - on the way there I had a McDonalds for the first time in two months, and I must say it didn't entirely agree with me - all this Thai food has altered my digestive system somewhat, I think. Anyway, the boxing was wierd, but cool. There were 6 fights in all, along with a tightrope walking kid and a bloke calling himself Rambo, who did various rope tricks as well. The fights were impressive, getting better as the night went on and the fighters got better. Afterwards the chaps headed home, and I went out to Ark Bar for a drink or two (I got a lift from Druce, no drink driving here) and then bumped into Jill again on my way home. We were on Soi Green Mango, and I was looking around at the ridiculous sights to be seen, when I spied a load of Ladyboys dancing together. Jill and her friend saw this, screamed "You like looking Ladyboy!" at me, and fell about in hysterics. Somewhat confused and humiliated, I headed off home. Tomorrow we're off back to Phangan, which'll be a hell of a change of pace from this place, and a welcome one too, although I have had a pretty fun time here.

Day 134 - Umm, to Koh Samui...

I got bored of feeling lonely, so I texted Druce to see if he and Will were on Koh Samui yet. The answer was yes, they had arrived at 6 this morning on the night boat from Surat Thani, they were staying at the First House Resort on Chaweng Beach, and I was more than welcome to join them. Having spent 438 Baht doing my last update (this is about £7, a lot to spend in an Internet Cafe), and watching Run, Fatboy, Run in an English cafe, I went and caught the last boat to Samui, and ended up surprising Druce and Will by creeping up on them as they parked their bikes in the hotel. This place is really swish, the rooms are 2500 a night, but they let me sleep on their floor for free, which is cool. Well, not really, it was incredibly uncomfortable, but better than nothing. After a relaxing hot bath (the first opportunity I've had to have one since arriving in Thailand) we headed out into town to see what was going on - the first place we stopped was for dinner, where we had an enormous mixed BBQ which we entirely failed to finish - it had beef and pork steak, chicken thighs, mixed kebabs, spare ribs, sweetcorn and a baked potato each, we made a valiant effort considering we weren't even that hungry, but we ultimately failed. Next we headed to Tropical Murphy's Irish Pub, which had live music enticing us in. There was a girl singing loads of decent songs, mainly of the No Doubtish persuasion, with a little 4 Non-Blondes thrown in, who was later replaced by a dude singing some rock requests. Halfway through his set, he announced that he had a special guest on drums - this was a wizened little Italian guy who looked like Iggy Pop's dad, who proceeded to bash out an incredible version of Smoke On The Water, including a 10 minute drum solo in the middle. The guy was going mental throughout, pulling the most awesome faces, and quite possibly enjoying it more than I have ever enjoyed anything in my life.
After this ridiculous spectacle we ran the gauntlet of Hostess/GoGo bars, with the screams of "Massaaaaaaaage?" and "Handsome maaaaaaan", ending up at Soi Green Mango, which is apparently the centre of the nightlife scene. It was rammed full of a mix of tourists (including three of the oddest looking men we have ever seen, lurking by the bar and eyeing up the...), prostitutes and ladyboys. There were also a few young Thais in there too, some of whom we talked to. One girl, Jill (more of her later) came up to Will and started chatting, had to go away for some reason and said "Ok, I come back and speak with you" to which Will replied, outraged, "NO! I don't want to sleep with you!" Luckily she didn't take offence, and returned with a bucket which she offered to us to share. There were some of the most incredibly good-looking girls I have ever seen in there, along with some of the most heavily made-up and scantily clad as well. We just hung out and chatted with Jill and her friend. On one occasion, when Will brought a girl he had been talking to over, Jill exclaimed "tell your friend not to bring any more prostitutes over here!" She clearly has a more trained eye than Will, who was left somewhat flabbergasted by this. Anyway, we remained in the club and thereabouts until the early hours of wednesday, taking in the sleazy spectacle that is Soi Green Mango, before getting motorbike taxis, lifts, and walking back to our hotel, in various states of disarray.

Day 133/4 - Umm, What Now?

I just got the bill for the Softbank phone rental, from Japan, and it was billed to my account as "SOFUTOBANKURENTARU", or Softbank Rental said in a comically strong Japanese accent. Awesome.

So, I spent Monday moping around and sleeping, as the music didn't allow me to do much of that on Sunday night. The same happened last night as well, so I have moved out of Paradise Bungalows, and I'm not too sure where I'm going next. Druce and Will are coming over here from Samui on Thursday, so I can either hang out here until then, or go to Samui and see what all the (both positive and negative) fuss is about for two nights, then come back here or go diving on Tao, which I think Druce is keen for. This morning the whole Island had a power cut, and my phone, iPod and camera all ran out of battery at the same time, so I went for a wander to the other side of Haad Rin to check it out - it's nothing special. Now I just await a reply from Druce, and either wait here or go to Samui. I think I'd prefer to stay here, go back to Two Rock bungalows where I stayed 5 years ago, but I am feeling pretty lonely, so maybe familiar company would be good...

One advantage of being on my own is that I am finally able to upload some of the pictures from the last month or so, although that's a pretty crappy silver lining.

Day 132 - Full Moon

Somewhat unfortunately, the weather has turned to shit. It's been drizzling all day, giving the island a grey and oppressive air. We spent the day wandering about, not really achieving anything, watching preparations for tonight (We also watched the Family Guy Star Wars movie, which was awesome). Our one mission for the day was to buy glow paint, which we found on the first street we came to, so our purpose for the day was immediately removed. In the evening we went over to Leela, armed with our paint and brushes, and once we had found the others the painting began in earnest. For some reason it was decided that I was good at it, and I did Marie's feet, Mine & Christine's arms, and Ivan's back. I myself had very fetching stars all over my chest, some kind of monstery skull on my feet and a sunset on my back, as well as a pirate flag on my headband. It felt slightly odd walking through the restaurant shirtless and covered in paint, but I'm sure we weren't the first.

Once back on the main beach we armed ourselves with buckets and walked the length of the beach to Mellow Mountain Bar, under Pasi's direction, where we danced and marvelled at the glow paint under the UV light. We left there and attempted to walk back along the beach, but something had disagreed with Marie and I, and basically we both threw up within twenty minutes of each other, and had to sit down (we found a bar playing only Bob Dylan and Bob Marley for this) as we were both feeling wierd - "wasted, but not in a good way" was Marie's fairly accurate summary. We decided the best thing was to take it easy for a bit, so we wandered the beach, watching all the bonkers stuff that was going on. By this point we had lost everyone else, with little or no hope of finding them (Pasi's reply to a text concerning his whereabouts was "We Finns are in the toilet", which is obviously no help), so we slowly made our way down the beach to ours, arriving about half two. We went back to our Bungalow to try and feel better, as there was no chance of sleeping - we are only about 60 metres from one of the biggest sound systems on the beach. We kind of drifted in and out of sleep, getting the occasional text asking where we were - the last one was from Ivan around 5, by which point I think we had decided not to go out again. The music didn't stop until about 9 (actually as I write this it's 3pm and I can still hear bass from somewhere not too far away), by which time it was nearly time for Marie to pack up and leave.

This was the worst bit of the whole Full Moon experience - after a few confused phone calls, a van turned up outside our place to take Marie over the hill to wait with the others. We had a hurried goodbye, and I stood for a while at the spot where we parted, not really knowing what to do with myself. I got a message saying Marie still had my scarf, should she run back, so I walked over the hill to them and we had a much better goodbye. Then the truck caught me up on the road, passed me and stopped, meaning I had to say an awkward hello and farewell again. I was only just about holding it together by this point, and saying another goodbye didn't really help. I'm feeling a bit lost right now, I don't have my next destination sorted, I don't want to stay here as I'll just think about Marie, I don't know anyone on this island yet, and it's all a bit rubbish. It's been a really great month-and-a-bit, this whole thing with Marie has been brilliant and completely unexpected - I honestly have no idea when or indeed if I'll ever see her again, and that's bringing tears to my eyes at this very moment. I have said I'd love to go to Canada, but I don't know if I can or will, or if it would be a good idea, as it would just be for a short while and then we'd have to say goodbye again, and... well, I don't know. She only left three hours ago, so hopefully this'll get easier over the next few days or whatever. Anyway, the point is, she's wonderful, and I miss her. My sister warned me about this situation, with the words "don't get your heart broken, you big soft bear". Well, that's not exactly what's happened, but it feels like something similar.

Day 131 - Try Again

We had to move out of our lovely bungalow this morning, having been awoken by scratching chickens and a woman relentlessly performing topiary outside form about half seven in the morning. We were, I'll admit, still a little drunk when all this occurred, making it all that little bit harder. We headed out and located the others, all except Arkansas Sara, who met a French gentleman last night and didn't return to her bungalow by checkout time... The other girls had to pack up all her stuff for her, and we were all pretty worried when she hadn't turned up by 1, but then she turned up on the back of David (the frenchman)'s bike, all smiles. I believe there was a telling off, but it was kept until the ferry.

We got the 3 o'clock Catamaran to Phangan, where they showed Underdog, a terrible movie which we couldn't escape for the entire journey. On arrival at Thongsala we haggled for ages to get a cheap taxi to Haad Rin - this happened last night as well, these guys really are keen on bargains, and persist well beyond where I would give up. The Finns and Marta left on the 9 am boat, and had got us all some rooms - room for 6 on Haad Rin, and room for the rest of us over on Leela Beach, in the very Bungalows that I saw and refused on Thursday. I realised this, and managed to get Marie and I a bungalow at Paradise bungalows just at the south end of Haad Rin, the main party beach. We headed over to Leela anyway, as I knew where it was and could show the others - it turned out that the room Marta had got us was 73, the very one I had turned down, so I'm glad we decided not to stay there.

After dinner, we all convened for drinks (I had a whole deep fried White Snapper with garlic and pepper, it was absolutely delicious), watched a fire show on the beach, and found ourselves party to a strange phenomenon - due to the elections again, none of the bars were allowed to have music; there were occasional 30 second bursts, then the police who were touring the beach would come along and stop it. Bucket sales were stopped too, apparently until noon tomorrow, although buckets could be found without too much trouble. Despite the lack of music, the beach was pretty full, and glow paint abounded as well - dragons, suns and flowers were painted on Sandy, Ivan and Marie respectively. Also, I learnt the meaning of a type of tattoo I see here a lot - Thai characters below sort of swirly spires, often on the back of the neck, or drawn on the roof of Taxis & buses. They vary enormously, but often are good luck, or a protective charm (for want of a better word) and are done by, or under the instruction of, a Buddhist Monk, and also come with sets of rules concerning what you are forbidden from doing if you want it to work, although ones without rules (like Sandy's) exist as well. They are an ancient Thai Warrior thing, apparently. Anyway, I reckon there were maybe 1000 people on the beach, even without any music, so I'm sure tomorrow will be massive.

Day 130 - Freedom!

We were booted out of our room this morning to make way for people who were actually diving at the resort, so we moved to Sairee cottage and got a bigger, better and cheaper bungalow. Today we went down to Freedom Beach, an awesome little bay in the south of the Island - it's tiny, maybe only 70 metres long, with the occasional mangrove and loads of coral about - about 10 metres out the floor turns from sand to coral, with loads of Sea Cucumbers (which are Echinoderms, I learnt today) and fish. I went snorkelling and saw loads of cool stuff, including a school of about 200 Parrot and other fish, including various bright yellow, purple and green ones who were perfectly happy to let me swim about above them, following them as they grazed on the coral. Back on the beach I saw a large naked Russian man having a swim, swiftly followed by a naked Argentinian doing a handstand in the water while his (non-nude) friends and their baby looked on, laughing. Freedom Beach indeed. We watched sunset from the originally named Freedom Bar on the rocks, and headed back - oh, the Cicadas/Crickets/whatever they were were incredibly loud - we couldn't hear each other talk at some points.

In the evening we all met up after dinner and played drinking games on the beach, including Circle Of Death, which was a tricky one - trying to explain a drinking game to such an international crowd was hard. It's a pretty good mix we have here - Taina, Mine, Tuomas and Pasi (Finnish), Myself (English), Marie (Canadian, speaks French and Czech), Nick, Charlie and Sara (American), Marta (Czech), Ivan (Serbian-American), Christine and Asia (French, from france and Guinea respectively). Monty (German), and Sandy (Taiwanese/Thai). The word games didn't go down too well.

We made an important decision last night as well - noone has gone to Koh Phangan (some were going to go and see what was going on anyway, although the party has been cancelled), instead we are all going tomorrow afternoon, apart from a few who are going at 9 am to try and get bungalows for us.

Day 129 - To Tao!

I dozed on the roof of the boat in the sun, which was exactly what I needed after my morning of searching. On arrival I headed to meet the others at the Coral Grand Resort. This is a fairly fancy place with some simple rooms out the back which are half price for dive students - the girls convinced the chap at reception to let us have them, on the pretence that we were going to dive.

After an afternoon of swimming about and lying on the beach, we haded into town to find the others for dinner, then we found a campfire on the beach and sat around chatting for a while. This was all lovely, until at about 11 Marie and I realised we had lost our room key again, which will cost us 500 baht, and reception had closed at 10. We ended up banging on the door of the staff quarters, and waking up a girl who very kindly (and sleepily) got us a spare key and let us in, making us feel very guilty indeed. We've lost a beach towel too, which is another 500 baht fine. Bugger.

*update* The next morning as we checked out, we found that someone had handed in our key, and they had forgotten about the towel. Awesome!

Day 128/9 - Happy Birthday Caitlin and Sian, & Phangan Nonsense

Day 128 (Wednesday 20th) - Debauchery...

I was awoken today by a vaguely familiar voice asking where her bra was - Jan's friend Julie hd walked ito my dorm room, and requested the whereabouts of someone whose name I didn't know, as she couldn't find her bra. This someone was the same one she had been dancing with last night, so I can only assume thngs went well for them. I also looked across the room to see a grinning long-haired Thai guy wrapped around a Swedish girl a few beds over - what a saucy dorm.

I packed and took my stuff off to the Dive shop, and just kind of hung around a bit, wandering the island until 1 when Druce and Will were finished with their confined water training. We went for a farewell beer, then I hopped on the Ferry to Krabi, to find myself sitting next to the same Julie. She had a DVD player, and we watched Good Luck Chuck - nonsense, but had lots of boobs and Jessica Alba in it - sadly not at the same time though.

The bus ride to Surat Thani was uneventful, just a bit cramped and hot - the "Air-Con" claim was spurious. I met some english guys on the bus to the pier, called Henry and Jamie, who are on a gap year having just finished their IB in Spain. Nice enough guys, we had a beer and discussed how horrible English people abroad can be - they live near Marbella, so they have planty of experience. There was a group of 9 or so english behind us who had been getting wasted since they got o the ferry, so they were a good 9 hours in by now. They were going to Koh Samui though, so we didn't have to share our cramped sleeping quarters with them. Said sleeping quarters were thin mattresses lined up against the wall of the boat, which had a ceiling 5 ft high. I say mattresses, it was really just one enormous mattress, with numbers on the wall every 2 or 3 ft showing which bit was was which. We had pillows though, which was better than I was expecting. The journey took 7 hours, durig which time we traded various stories (mostly about playing connect 4 with prostitutes - no innuendo there, just something we had all done) before getting a surpisingly good night's sleep.

Day 129 (Thursday 21st) - ... and Debacles

On arrival at 6:20 we headed straight down to Leela beach, after confirming what we already knew - that accomodation was pretty thin on the ground. We had to wait around for a while for reception to open, so we went around the corner to Lighthouse Bungalows (full) and watched the sun rise for a bit. On our return the guy said they had three bungalows available (just what I needed), but on closer inspection it turned out that one had a balcony you couldn't go onto, and one had a family of bate sliving inside, so I gave one of them to Jamie and Henry, who offered to keep the other one 'til I called them, which was very generous of them.

One thing we noticed at Coco Huts (full) was that there were posters about saying "FULL MOON PARTY POSTPONED UNTIL 24TH FEBRUARY" due to elections or something. This, obviously, is a problem, especially for those coming down for the weekend only. I tried to phone Marie and co. to tell them and see what we should do, but no answer. I walked over the hill to Haad Rin, asked at a few places (all full) and then got a Songthaew in the direction of Thongsala pier. After a bit of negotiation (the driver had a place on Hat Yao, which is sort of miles away, but I don't think he had room for 6) I persuaded him to stop and check availability at all the bungalows, with no success.

I did however see that Two Rocks, where I spent a couple of weeks five years ago, is still there and thriving, while still being little and cool with loads of hammocks. If I get the chance I will go back there. I made it to Thongsala pier 4 hours after leaving here before, and finally got a call from Marie - her phone doesn't work on Tao, so she only just got a chance to call me - I had been trying her for 90 minutes or so. I told them the situation and it was decided I should go to Tao, which I am doing in about an hour, on the speedboat. I just hope they have better luck than me at finding somewhere to stay...

Day 127 - What to do on the last day...

I awoke today all packed, and consequently able to move across to the dorm at The Rock, thereby saving myself 450 baht. I should have done this when I got here, damn my laziness. I went to the beach in front of Princess rsort, where there was some sort of birthday party going on by the pool, playing pretty good music, so it was a good place to lie around. I found Druce and Will after they'd finished their training, hung out with Jan a bit and didn't really achieve much. I did however have a good chance meeting - as I walked out of the Hostel I saw Brad and Joel (two of the Aussies from Laos) having dinner, so I went and sat on Joel's lap to surprise him, which it certainly did.

They agreed to come out for drinks later, which we had at Rolling Stoned bar - we went there to see the live band, but apparently the singer has a bad throat, so we played Jenga and Connect 4 with the waitress for a bit, before heading to Reggae Bar (against Jan's protestations) where we saw a staged Muay Thai fight, followed by three pretty gnarly ones - you get a free bucket if you fight your friend there, so we saw two female and one male fight. The guys were pretty lame, they had clearly prearranged no kicking or something, so it wasn't too exciting. The girls, on the other had, really went for it, smacking the crap out of each other. It was compelling, in a "this is really wrong and they only get a 2 quid bucket out of it but I can't look away" sort of way. We went up to the dancefloor above, although Druce and Will sensibly went home as they are diving tomorrow, in spite of the beckonings of Sana, a hot Swedish friend of Jan's. It was free bucket time upstairs, so inevitably carnage ensued. At a later poit I found myself in a chair on the beach being hailed by Jan and Sana - I have little recollection of how I got there, but I was completely sober the instant I began talking to them. Odd...

Day 126 - Trekking and Night Diving

Druce and Will are signed up for the Open Water course, I went in to book a deep adventure dive, and ended up being signed up for a night dive tonight! Will, Druce and I went up to the top Viewpoint today, stupidly going around 1 0'clock, meaning we were drenched in sweat by the time we reached the top. We saw signs down to Runtee bay, and figuring we'd come this far, and hoping there would be a taxi boat on the other side, we headed down. It was a much longer walk, through almost Jungle, than we had been informed, but it was worth it - the first sign we sawe said "Mask + Fins, Taxi Boat, Thai Food", all of which we were in dire need of. The others went snorkelling while I did my theory for the night dive - boring but necessary. We got the last Taxi boat back at %:30, meaning that I was a little late back, and a little drunk after one beer due to all the sweating I did.

The night dive was incredible, if a little unnerving - we had a Czech instructor called Emilieauneaaa... or something like that, and the sea was incredibly rough on the way out - 2-3m swells, apparently. When we were sheltered in the bay off Phi Phi Lei it was ok though. We only went down to about 15m, and we saw *gets out logbook* a 2ft blue Spiny Lobster scaling the coral wall, a Spider Crab covered in anemones and coral who was almost invisible and only moved when wafted at, another Crown Of Thorns Starfish (more spectacular as we saw its real colours in our torchlight), various Puffer Fish, including an enormous Giant Puffer, nearly a metre long, a load of Durban Dancing and Banded Cleaner Shrimp, and a Sponge Crab, which was really bizarre. It had a sponge coral growing on its back in a perfect rectangle, and looked like a rock until light was shone on it, and it started scuttling away. Also we stopped on the bottom and turned our lights off, and waved our arms about, to see the Bioluminescence. It was really cool, but nowhere near as good as back on Koh Chang, probably because it's nearly a full moon, and there was a fair amount of light underwater. Upon our return about 10 o'clock, I went home to change and ended up collapsing in my bed and sleeping until 9 this morning. Fail.

Day 124-5 - Beach Days, and Drucey!

Day 124 (Saturday 16th) - Beached

I got up late today, by which I mean about 9 - it's impossible to sleep longer here, as there ios always nonsense going on outside. I headed down to the beach around 11 and remained there until sunset, reading. As the sun went behind the hills Andrew, Wade and a few other locals came out and played Volleyball (very seriously I might add) until dark, which was entertaining to watch. I went for an all you can eat Japanese/Thai/BBQ by the beach, and in the evening Jan and I met up with his friend who's leaving soon, before heading to Tiger Bar with his friend Rich and 8 of his mates, all of whom were drinking buckets (they had a 5l one when we met them) amd were consequently completely screwed, far more than Jan or I could keep up with. Oh, my face has gone a wierd shade of purple due to my time in the sun, which looks a bit odd...

Day 125 (Sunday 17th) - Druce!

Today I went down to the beach again, and read and slept all day. In the evening I checked my emails to discover that James Druce, as in Drucey from school who I haven't seen in 7 years, is on the island. I immediately rushed to find him, and we had an awesome time trying to catch up on 7 years of life - although that was probably rather dull for his mate Will. We went for 100 baht steak burgers and then headed to sunflower, where we met JP and Jan. The strangest thing happened while we were there; Will walked off, supposedly to the toilet, and soon after JP said "hey Matt -your boy's gone down". We looked around and saw Will had collapsed through the drumkit, and was lying, arms by his sides, completely unconcious on top of the Mic stand. We went over to pick him up, while on of the Thai staff told Will that he could sing if he wanted, he only had to ask. We carried him across to a sun lounger, and he passed out again on the way. 10 minutes later he was fine, which made it all very odd, Apparently it's only happened once before, also in Thailand in Kanchanaburi. While sitting on the loungers we had a long talk with JP about everything, which caused Druce to be incredibly interested and effusive on every subject. 2 o'clock rolled around, and we headed to Funky's where there was allegedly music 'til 5, to find that the music had been shut off, and the place was just full of wasted folk who had heard the same rumour, so we called it a night.

Day 124 - Misunderstandings and Snuss

I completely forgot, after leaving Tiger I headed to Carlitos where I saw some american guys who volunteer in Thailand and are on holiday here, who I met on Friday night, just before the JP incident. One of them thought I was a dick, and when I asked her friend why, he referred me to a conversation we'd had - I bumped into her in the street, she said "What is it that brings us together again?" or something to that effect, to which I replied "Misfortune." She thought I meant it ws unfortunate to see her again, I meant that I was there as we had to leave Sunflower after JP was possibly racially abused, which is clearly unfortunate. She subsequently thought me less of a dick, I'm glad we got that cleared up.

As we walked home we stopped for a sandwhich, and met some really odd Swedish guys, whose English was so perfect they had started their own slang, called Swenglish, which mainly involved using incorrect conjugations, much to their delight. They had some Snuss (sic?), which I had not had since being on German Exchange in '98 (the kids we were staying with all used it, so we bought some home and used it now and again, mainly when trying to look cool and impressive - nothing imprsss more than a big gob of tobacco on your gums and teeth. We were idiots) or thereabouts, so the guy took some out (a Rookie Portion, apparently), and I popped it under my lip. About 10 minutes later I suddenly felt absolutely blasted, even though I had been fine before, and so I quickened my pace ahead of the Americans so I could get home fast. I was not fast enough, as I had to find a spot on the beach where I could lie down in the shadow of a Longtail Boat, and have a good old sweat. For maybe 20 minutes I was lyng there breathing as deeply as I could and soaked in sweat, when all of a sudden the feeling passed as rapidly as it had come on. I suppose it was just a really intense Nicotine buzz, or whatever it is that Snuss does to you. Either way, I won't be trying that again any time soon.

Day 123 - I am now a PADI Open Water Diver!

Today was another early start, had to be at the shop for 9:00 for our final day of training. We went out to Bida Nok and did some skills, specifically a Controlled Emergency Swimming Ascent and some buoyancy control, mask clearing and so on. We then went for an explore and saw some cool stuff, more about that later. Lunch was again delicious, Massaman curry and morning glory this time. In the afternoon we dived at Maya Corner on Phi Phi Lei, practicing navigation and mask loss , and swam to the pinnacles - these are small underwater limestone towers that are covered in coral, and sometimes form tunnels to swim through, full of schools of fish. This we did, it was really incredible being in the midst of the schools, they pretty much ignored us and just kept swimming by. I can't remember what we saw on which dive, but in total we saw Large Trevally, Oriental Sweetlips, various Scorpionfish, a Cube Boxfish (a little yellow cube that bobbed along in a ridiculous manner), Banded Boxer Shrimp, Moray Eels (including a giant white one which Wade had never seen before), Lionfish, Crown Of Thorns Starfish, and another Hawksbill Turtle - I took my camera on the second dive, so I should hopefully have some pictures of some of these. We went back and sat the final exam in the shop, I think we all got 45+/50 and passed, so we are now all PADI Certified Open Water Divers, capable of diving anywhere in the world down to 18m! Awesome, I have achieved my main objective of coming to Thailand. I went for a wander when we got back, and achieved another goal - I managed to change my flight (finally) from Singapore to Denpasar from the 19th of February to the 18th of March, meaning I now have enough time to go to the full moon, the Perhentian Islands, see a bit of Malaysia and Singapore before jetting off to Bali/Lombok/the Gili Islands.

We assembled at half seven to watch the video from today - Andrew was on the boat and diving with us with a camera, the video looked awesome and was really cool, although it's 1800 baht/nearly ฃ25 to buy it on DVD, which is a shame, but I'll probably end up buying it anyway. I went for dinner and was sitting on my own when a guy came and asked if he could join me, he was from San Francisco and called Matthew, and we shared a Papaya Salad and Tom Kah Goong (Shrimp curry soup thing), as we both wanted both. he seemed like a pretty cool chap, he bought a tent in Phuket and is camping on the beach here for free - a smart move on this extortionate island. back at the shop it was Hannah and Ruth's last night (they have been here for 6 months, doing dissertations/working in bars/mincing around) before returning to England, so we had some farewell drinks and a reasonably raucous time. jan and I headed down to Sunflower bar afterwards for a quiet drink or two, and met some of his mates, including a guy from the US called JP. I went to get drinks, and on my return jan came out and told me we were going, now. I had no idea why and followed, then I saw JP and one of the guys from the tattoo shop having a row - well, the tattoo guy was shouting about how he wanted JP out, he didn't have any problem with the rest of us, just JP. JP replied with "I have nothing but love for you - I open up my heart and give you all of Buddha's love" which threw the guy off a bit, long enough for us to make a hasty exit. Apparently the guy had never spoken to JP before, was high on Yabba or something and took exception to JP for one of two reasons - because he's black, or because he probably got with a girl that the guy wanted. This left JP understandably rather shaken, so we went and chatted on the beach a while, along with Dave, the most Californian man I have ever seen, think a San Diegan Anthony Keidis with blonde hair and you've pretty much got him. We discussed various matters, including Philip Morris Tobacco being founded by the KKK, Coke backing the Nazis, the Charisma of Bill Clinton, Martin Sheen and Fidel Castro, the American political system (again, this seems to be coming up a lot recently) and the (non)existence of Heaven, God, etc. It was good, he's a really easy guy to chat to and get along with, and has a lot of interesting tales to tell - he brought Yoga and Capoeira to the school he works at in Downtown LA, and did mention the phrase "Heart Chakra" at one point, but other than that all was well.

Oh, when I got home there were a big group of Canadons in the street next door, who were shouting "Canada!" at every passer-by, and got into a singing match with some Aussies and English guys, which went on for far too long. I could only find one earplug as well, which didn't help matters at all. Also I seem to have lost my debit card, I remember taking it out of my wallet for some reason and putting it somewhere else, wuite possibly just in my pocket, but I have just sorted through all my possessions (which needed doing anyway), moved the bed, checked every pocket/pouch/bag that I have, and there's no sign of it. I'm going to check at the Dive shop, then I suppose I will have to report it lost and get a new one sent to Australia or Singapore, depending how long it'll take. This is all a bit annoying...

Day 122 - Happy Valentine's Day!

An early and somewhat heavy-headed start to today, I had to be up at 8 to get to the shop by 9. We headed straight out, and I was sick within about half an hour of starting our journey, partly due to last night/seasickness/the green tea latte I foolishly had for breakfast. We dived at Bida Nok, practiced some skills and saw Trumpet & Cornet fish, giant Moray Eels, Marbled Groupers, Moorish Idols, Clark's Anemonefish and Clownfish, among thousands of others - at some point the water around us was so full of sish you could barely see 3m. We had to do a swimtest before lunch, just twice around the boat and then tread water for 10 minutes, but I found this exhausting and nearly collapsed when we got out. I am rubbish. In the afternoon we did more skills then dived at Malong, and saw aload more cool stuff, including Clown Angler/Frogfish, Lionfish (which were awesome), various Puffers and Porcupinefish, and two hawkbill turtles, which were about three feet long and eating bubble coral on the bottom - they seemed entirely unconcerned by our presence, and just swam slowly by.

We were all done by 3, so I went and read some more and dozed on the beach, before returning to the shop to pick up Jan and head out. We went to a few places, most notably Tiger bar which had, allegedly, Ibiza DJs on. It was ok, I kept getting flirty glances and smiles and occasionally danced with a girl who may or may not have been with her boyfriend - there was a guy lurking about who she obviously knew, but who was half glaring at me to warn me off and half ignoring me, which I found very confusing. I left Jan there about 2am, to avoid feeling as bad as I did this morning.

Day 121 - In the water!

Today we started the dive training - after another ridiculous video and a test or two (I got 29/30, go me!) we got fitted up for all our gear and went for our first confined water dive on the beach. Even though it was on the pier side of the island, not too deep, we still saw various Wrasses, Parrot Fish, Clown Fish, Siam Tiger Fish and a load of other cool stuff. We did OK, Wade (the instructor) seems pretty pleased with our progress, it was all manageable (except for taking your mask on and off underwater, my nose went wierd and I didn't like that bit much) and tomorrow we're off on the boat at 9 for our first proper dive! Awesome.

We were all done by 2 o'clock so I went and read on the beach, and met up with Jan later to go to a few bars, and as we walked around town getting a beer in each I realised that I probably shouldn't be doing this the day before my first dive. We saw a cool fire show at Hippies Bar, before I decided it was time to take myself home for a rest.

Day 119/120 - All's quiet on the beach

Yesterday Jan and I went to Sunflower Bar for a drink, and watched some girls walking in across the sand - they were topless, and one was a little shyer than the others and was covering herself up. They were miles away, so we were talking about them, and they all happened to look round just as I pointed at them and said loudly "do you mean that one or that one?" They all saw us looking and pointing at them - they all became rather shy after that.

We went to Ciao Bella for pizza (mine had anchovies and gorgonzola, it was wonderful and massive), and after Jan finished his second shift at the shop we went back to Sunflower with Rory, a scottish guy Jan wworks with who left today, and a few more of his workmates. There was a wicvked live band on, and a girl doing amazing things with a hula hoop - apparently she performs on the beach with a flaming one, or something like that. We met some pretty cool people, and Rory fell opver a lot, before wandering home, stealing my new flip flops, and leaving his sandals (they're rather nice BIrkenstock rip-offs, I'm going to take care of them until he returns).

So today I was awoken at 8 by maniacal hammering, and I was still a bit drunk and therefore unable to find my earplugs/get up/do anything about it. Having suffered through this I went for breakfast and lay on the beach, and read the entirety of Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut. I came by the dive shop later just in time to start watching the videos for the course, so that got a couple of hours out of the way. Afterwards Jan, his friend Rich and I went for a wander around the Island, dropping in on various places and checking them out, Tiger Bar was packed, and I got a bit drunker than I meant to and had to take myself home.

Day 115-119 - Koh Chang to Koh Phi Phi

Day 115 (Thursday 7th) - The Field Trip Begins

The passenger boat arrived at 9 this morning, laden with students. The lecturer, Wayne, greeted the owner of our bungalows like an old friend, and immediately opened a Beer Chang, which pretty much set the scene for the rest of the trip. We spent the day swimming, drinking and sunbathing - we saw some jumping fish and Hornbills flying overhead, and the mosquitoes are eating my legs, so that's at least some wildlife spotted.

The evening was really cool - someone suggested we go snorkelling at night, to see the Bioluminescent Algae, which is without doubt the coolest thing I have ever seen. Your hands leave trails as you move them, clapping or clicking your fingers produces clouds of green light, swimming in circles produces doughnuts of green stars, all in all it's like "you're conducting the universe" (thanks Ivan). The Myanmar Rum went down a storm, and Kayley got stung on the hand by a Scorpion! She yelped and ran off swearing, and then came back after a few minutes and explained, saying "so that was definitely a fucking Scorpion!" before going off to seek treatment. I no longer feel I can complain about the mosquitoes or Jellyfish larvae that keep stinging me.

Day 116 (Friday 8th) - False Starts and Early Finishes

Today had a disappointing start. We embarked on a hot and sweaty trek across the Island to the mangrove forests, only to find that the tide was in and so it was too deep to wade through. Oops. I also got a spider bit on my leg that swelled up quite a bit, which wasn't much fun. We walked back and spent the afternoon on the beach, playing a bit of Volleyball with people from the other bungalows until sunset, and played Finnish drinking games for a while. Marie and I went for a quick powernap after this which ended up being an 8 hour nap, meaning we awoke at 5:41, having missed all the night's fun. Although if we slept for that long I'm sure we needed/deserved it.

Day 117 (Saturday 9th) - Snorkelling

Todays trip was to the national park to go snorkelling and looking at corals. We headed out along a ridiculously treacherous path, which resulted in one guy cutting his leg, one his foot, and another throwing up, all within 15 minutes. We stopped at one small bay while these guys were taken care of, but there wasn't much to see. The journey to the park probably took about an hour/hour and a half, and at the end we saw some

corals, in various growth stages (Laminar, Tabulate, Submassive and Digitate I think) and also some cuttlefish, which were weird, and sea urchins, tiger fish, and loads of cool little green ones too. The journey back, in splintered groups with me at the helm, took a little over half an hour, and was possibly the sweatiest half hour of my life. We rushed into the sea as soon as possible, before cracking open the Myanmar Gin (which mixes perfectly with Schweppes' Manao Soda) and Pasi's Lao Kao (which mixes with nothing, and is vile). We had a good night of chatting and laughing at the exploits of Pasi, and Wayne told me that he (by which I mean the Mahidol University International College Tropical Ecology Department) would pay for our bungalow for the entire time we were there - I didn't even have to pay half! What a decent fellow.

We went for another nighttime snorkel, and the Algae was at least as spectacular as the other night - Brendan, Marie and I had glow wars underwater, shooting jets of algae at one another. Truly awesome fun, I can't emphasise that enough.

Day 118 (Sunday 10th) - On The Road

We got up at 7, as instructed, to make the 8 o'clock boat. Due to various bits of disorganisation we ended up getting it at 9:30 (much to the chagrin of some people - cheer up Capriya (sic?), you're in Paradise!), meaning I missed the bus to Krabi. I said goodbye to all the Mahidol guys (Wayne had very sweetly tried to reshuffle all the seats on their minibus so that Marie and I could sit together - would have been great if I had been going back to Bangkok) and so I had to get one to Kok Kloy (I watched Pirates Of The Caribbean 3, which passed the time pretty well) then another to Krabi, which was full of Thais instead of westerners, which was cool, then I got a Songthaew to Krabi town, where I am now typing this in the relative luxury of the Vieng Thong Hotel, watching Rio Carnival coverage on Fashion TV. It's only half nine but I'm knackered and haven't eaten all day, so I may have to go and forage for noodles, then collapse until the first boat out to Phi Phi tomorrow.

Day 119 (Monday 11th) - Phi Phi, Finally!

As it turned out, I ended up watching a Thai action movie, shot on Phi Phi, at the noodle stand, and didn't get to sleep until half one or so. I was up at half 7, got a motorbike taxi to the Pier (where I was informed that the boat left at 10, not 9 as I had been told), got the boat and sat on the deck in the sun reading - I have now finished On The Road, it was awesome and left me somewhat dumbstruck at the end. On arrival in Phi Phi I walked around for ages trying to find somewhere reasonably priced that wasn't full, failed, and ended up in a bamboo walled fan room with shared bathroom for 700 Baht a night, the most I have ever paid for a room in Thailand. Still, I can always get up tomorrow morning and go looking for another one - I am right opposite The Rock Backpackers, which claims to have the cheapest rooms on the Island. Jan is somewhere here as well, probably teaching right now, but I'LL TRACK HIM DOWN LATER (those were accidental capitals, but I'm going to leave it as it makes this entry look ominous). I have put everything I own in the laundry apart from boardies and a hoodie, so I can cover it all in a new layer of salt and sand over the next few days. I smell pasta, so I'm going to go on a food mission - due to time/tiredness constraints, I have only eaten a bowl of noodles and half a pineapple since saturday night, which simply won't do.

Ok, I had a wander, had some fried rice on the beach, admired the scenery, and while wandering back I came upon Jan's dive school, so I'm going to meet him when he finishes in about 10 minutes. Awesome

Day 112-114 - Bangkok to Koh Chang, Ranong

Day 112 (Monday 4th) - Nothing Much

Met Sally for a drink in the evening, I'm pretty sure that's literally all that happened today. Rainy Bangkok is rubbish.

Day 113 (Tuesday 5th) - Rainy Bangkok

Marie had to go off and get her passport from the embassy, and due to the nightmare that is Thai Immigration it was decided she should come with me down to Ranong, where we could hop over the border to Myanmar/Burma (it seems like people just pick one and run with it, Burmese people included). It pissed down all day, meaning Bangkok was even steamier than usual, so all I managed to achieve was posting a load of stuff I don't need (6kg in all, my bag feels light as a feather) to Australia. I met Marie at the Southern bus terminal, which is confusingly located in NE Bangkok, where we embarked upon an 8 hour bus journey to Ranong. This journey was involuntarily accompanied by a feature length Thai Soap Opera on the TV, which we just about managed to block out with a combination of an earplug in one ear and Ricky Gervais in the other.

Day 114 (Wednesday 6th) - Kung Hei Fat Choi to you all!

After a few failed attempts at sleep on the bus, we were dozing when we arrived in Ranong, meaning that we failed to get off at the bus station - we were sitting at the front and consequently failed to notice everyone getting off. This meant we found ourselves haggling with motorbike taxi drivers at 6 in the morning, to take us back to the bus station. Once there, we grabbed a room for 3 hours sleep, which was occasionally disrupted by firecrackers going off outside, to celebrate Chinese New Year. This was more than a little unwelcome at dawn.

The guesthouse we were in organises Visa runs to Burma, which made things much more convenient for our exhausted selves - the service included a car to the immigration office where we were stamped out of Thailand, then we got a car back through town to the pier despite being officially over the border already, where we hopped into a boat driven by a couple of 12-14 year-old kids. These kids almost immediately started offering us cheap Burmese goods, such as Rum, Gin, fags and Viagra. Due to a misunderstanding on quantities, we ended up with a bottle of Myanmar Rum and Myanmar Gin (both manufactured by the Myanmar Peace Group, apparently) for about ฃ2.50 each, which is pretty good. The kids let me drive the boat for a bit too; it was a longtail boat, and I must admit it was pretty difficult - the engine was really heavy, and near impossible to swing around enough to steer, these kids must be so strong. On arrival in Burma, having passed various immigration points which were just shacks on stilts in the river, we were hustled along the road to a shop where I bought a Myanmar Beer, which I had been advised to try - it was by far the best beer I have tasted so far, even beating Beer Lao.

On our return to the boat we were joined by a Burmese kid called Ali, who went a bit quiet when we asked why he was heading to Thailand, and he kind of hid as we passed the immigration points. He was smoking and had Tattoos, yet when I offered him some beer he claimed he was "too young", and told us he was 12, which was a bit of a surprise. We got back to town just in time for the boat to Koh Chang, everyone in town seems to know about our trip, I guess 17 Farang all at once is quite a lot for the island to handle. The journey was uneventful, but our arrival was awesome. Everything has to be shipped in here, there is no electricity apart from the generators, and huge blocks of ice are needed to keep the drinks and food cold, all brought in on the passenger boats. Also, the beach here is half white sand, half black, and is covered in bubble crabs!

Day 109-111- Still in Bangkok

Day 109 (Friday 1st) -What to do?

Today was a peskily indecisive sort of a day - we went and hung out by the pool and had lunch, whilst trying to decide what to do with ourselves - neither of us were too bothered about where we went or what we did, so I decided it was best if we just went into town and stayed at Asha, as it would be marginally cheaper than staying at Marie's, and it's closer to everything. On our eventual arrival at Asha, we bumped into Ville and Cecilia, the Finnish couple I met here before, which was awesome. We headed into town to meet some of Marie's friends at a bar called Saxophone, which had an awesome live band playing blues and funk. They had an incredible cocktail menu, so we stayed for a while, and while being frugal and nipping out to 7-11 for a cheap beer, Ville and I encountered two cool things - firstly there were about 8 matching white Mercedes with sequential numberplates outside. When we asked a nearby policeman whose they were, he answered "Queen", which we took to mean that the Queen was somewhere in the vicinity. The second cool thing was that some sort of biker gang seemed to be in the bar, as there were 6 or so amazing custom bikes outside, covered in skulls and chains and with the fattest tires and lowest seats I've ever seen. We left the place about 1, and headed home via a noodle stand, although Ville and poor sober Cecilia ended up going to a Karaoke bar on the way home - we left them to it.

Day 110 (Saturday 2nd) - A Slow Start...

I think we're the worst Bangkok tourists ever. We overslept and consequently missed Ville and Cecilia, and then spent ages trying to figure out what to do today. We attempted to go to the Snake Farm (the one run by the Red Cross, not the dodgy one that we nearly went to on our river tour a month or so ago), but found that the 'milking' times were different on weekends so we had missed it. We headed to Central Pier and got the Express Boat just to see the river, then jumped off at Banglamphu as we had decided to go to the Golden Mount, a big temple on an artificial hill which supposedly gives awesome views of the city. After a sweaty climb we reached the top, to find this is indeed true - you can see for miles, all over this wierd unplanned mish-mash of a place. There are slums next to palaces, huge malls crushed together next to areas of wasteland, and various other confusing contradictions. I got some good pictures of pictures of The King as well - he seems to have been the main topic of conversation for some reason.

We headed to the Cinema at Siam Paragon as it was on our way home, on the offchance of catching something decent - this turned out to be Sweeney Todd, which was awesome. We were in an enormous cinema which can't have been more than 10% full, and we sat through loads of trailers before the main event - the national anthem, accompanied by various tableaux of Thai life and how it is improved in many ways by the existence of The King - musicians playing in front of a picture of him playing his trumpet, soldiers patrolling with a picture of him in full Naval uniform, monks meditating with the picture of him meditating as a monk, complete with awesome aviators - my second favourite, after the one of him with Elvis - before ending with the messages "We Love The King, Long Live The King, His Majesty Bhumipol Adulyadej, The Heart And Inspiration Of All Thais". Stirring Stuff. The film was an unexpected musical, with plenty of gore and ridiculous ideas, and well worth a watch.

We came home and watched another film, Baraka, which was absolutely awesome. I'm not too sure of the details of when it was made, or by whom, but it is a wordless documentary about, well, the whole world, featuring some of the coolest footage I have ever seen, of animals, people, landscapes, plants, stars, everything. Really beautiful.

Day 111 (Sunday 3rd) - Giant Squid and Massive Prawns

I seem to be falling ill - when I awoke today I was feeling totally drained and exhausted, barely able to keep my eyes open over breakfast. My knee's changed appearance as well - most of the dead skin covering the scratches came off in the shower this morning, leaving it shiny and sort of weird looking. As a result I went for a nap after breakfast, and woke up feeling a bit better, and so we went to look for the fresh fruit and food market that's supposedly nearby, at the southern tip of Chatuchak Park. We took what I thought was a shortcut, and ended up wandering along the banks of the filthiest river I have ever seen, where we were quite possibly the first Farang to pass by. Eventually we made it to Chatuchak, past all the stalls outside the market proper which sell (at least) secondhand bits and bobs, many of which seem to have just been taken from bins. We went through the market to the park, picking up a few things on the way - Chatuchak is dangerous, it would be so easy to pick up truckloads of cool stuff to send back home, in fact I may do this in a few years when/if I have a place of my own to furnish. We found the food bit, and had some really good Phad Thai and Ramen, before hopping on the Skytrain to Siam, for two reasons - I wanted to pick up a present for someone, and Marie suggested we go to the Aquarium - this was an incredible idea, the Aquarium (allegedly the largest in southeast Asia) has a glass-bottomed boat you can ride around the shark tank, loads of cool fish (obviously), a Giant Squid (albeit frozen in a giant block of ice) and a 4D X-Venture Cinema, which is basically a 3D cinema with moving chairs, jets of air and water vapour, and little bits of plastic which swish against your legs when fish swim from behind you. All very cool indeed.

We met up with Marie's friends Andrea and Sudan Sarah on Sukhumvit Soi 3/1, also known as Little Arabia. Sarah, who used to live in the UAE, ordered various things for us, including Hummus & Samosas (familiar, yet delicious), arabic fish curry (really awesome, totally new flavours), barbecued prawns (must have been 5 inches long by 1" thick, really good), chicken kebabs and Tabuleh (both really delicate and delicious) and a few other things besides. It was really cool to have Arabic food, as it was so different to the predominantly Thai food I have been eating for the last month or so.

I enquired at reception about going to Koh Chang (Ranong), as this is the destination of Marie's field trip this week, it looks beautiful, and is also really close to the Myanmar border so I can get a new Visa, allowing me to stay until the full moon party on the 22nd - apparently it's a 13 hour bus ride from here, and I'd better book soon as it's nearly Chinese New Year, and travel will be difficult. Also Marie called to tell me that her lecturer says it's fine for me to come along/meet them there, the trip will be mostly snorkelling and I'm more than welcome to join them. Awesome.