Writing and lying about birthdays and toilet ducks

(I am writing this up to three weeks late as I have been on morning shifts most days, and so I have probably forgotten a lot of stuff)

20/07 - Due to commissioning work my shift today (and for the rest of the week) was cancelled, so I spent the day working on my report. It was a scorching day, and I had some awesome ice cream - that is all that happened, really. Oh, and I met James and Dan for a Mike Wong's dinner in the evening, which was (as always) delicious.

21/07 - I think that all I did today was work on my report - sitting in the office with closed blinds while it was a perfect 32º day outside. Eugh.

22/07 - I got into a bit of a working groove today (a rare occurrence) and ended up staying at CERN until 2330, then getting home at half 12. I assumed everyone had gone home, so I had a videochat with Clare and Kelly, to show them the incredible sunset over the mountains, but when I went back into the office (it was after 10 o'clock by this point) Ricardo popped his head in and remarked upon me being there so late. I am wondering what on earth he was still doing there?

23/07 - As I didn't really have any dinner last night I started today with breakfast at Servette, where I discovered a new, revolutionary foodstuff - the brioche croissant. It was enormous, and would have been perfect had it not been for the fact that I could not have it warmed up and smothered in butter. The day was unremarkable, but afterwards I went to La Pignata, a pizzeria on Planpalais, for a guy called Chris' leaving dinner. I don't really know the guy, but I was assured that it would be fine for me to attend. They had already squashed about 25 people onto a table for 18, so I had to get everyone to shuffle down a few inches before I was eventually squashed in between Dan Short and Jay, a new guy from Manchester (maybe). The actual man of the hour, Chris, was as far away from me as he could be, and left early (bit of an odd leaving dinner). There was another new guy with dreadlocks, whose name entirely slips my mind, with whom we had an extensive conversation about piercings (he has many, including the worst one - he recommended it for every bloke. I smiled and nodded) and I had the Pizza Tony, which was topped with an enormous pile of rocket, bresaola and parmesan, drizzled with truffle oil. Decadent and delicious.

We pretended that it was Sarah's birthday and so got free limoncello (it's always free, but I think we got refills by dint of our deception) then went to Café Bizarre for a few drinks. We were bought racks of tequilas by Sarah and Ailsa, and James and I followed these with Canard W.Cs, or toilet ducks - These involve a brandy glass with a load of tequila and blue curaçao in it (along with some other stuff I have now forgotten), into which is upended a bottle of Orangina. A straw is inserted into the (now submerged) neck of the bottle, so that as you drink you are removing Orangina which is replaced by the booze, so you end up with a bright green mixture in the bottle - it was CHF 20, but delicious. We found a hammock out in the garden and lay there chatting for a while - I shall miss James when I go, and I think the feeling's mutual. We remained in the hammock until forced to leave at about half two, whereupon we walked halfway home and hopped on a passing no. 7 bus - the very last bus, as it turned out.

24/07 - I spent today doing some packing with a mild hangover, and went to the supermarket and discovered something I wish I had realised 6 months ago - due to the fact that supermarkets are not open on Sunday, twice as much stuff is reduced in price due to an imminent sell by date. Consequently, I bought a massive slab of rump steak, some fillets, a duck breast and some merguez sausages, all of which were half price. I had a fillet steak lunch, and used the duck and merguez to make an improvised cassoulet thing - it turned out pretty well (although in retrospect I should have removed the skin), and James came round to help me eat it - we drank beers and watched Tron, which was very odd but pretty awesome too.

25/07 - A lazy Sunday, during which I finished my packing and started on a little cleaning, before going to see Inception in the evening with Dan, Zoe and Ailsa. It was a great film, pretty complex with layers upon layers of suspense. I think I need to see it again, as there were a few things I missed and some details I need to work out (I liked the idea of part of Leonardo DiCaprio's subconcious constantly attempting to betray him).

More shift days, and Lovebox!

(I am writing this up to two weeks late as I have been on morning shifts most days, and so I have probably forgotten a lot of stuff)

13/07 - This morning I turned off two alarms and went back to await the third - which never came! Suddenly it was 0550, and my bus was at 0555 - I got the number of my desk and rang the night shifter to tell him i'd be late. Comedy of errors on the way there - there were no trams but replacement buses instead, taking a different route so I missed the 56, then got on the 57 and forgot I had done so, so I had to get off at hôpital-la-tour and wait for the Y bus, which was also late. I got in at 0712, to find the night shifter was still there.

It was a successful shift, we took about 27 nb-1 of data today - a new record, I believe. I had an awesome merguez and goats' cheese sandwich for lunch, and then went and paid my housing deposit (in spite of only having 3 weeks left), sorted out my removals and also booked my last flight home. Back in Geneva I lay on the wooden bit outside on l'Ile for an hour or so, then bought shorts from diesel and then went to lie in my hammock in the park for a bit - I stayed until about 10 in the end as it was a nice evening, I got lots of smiles from passers-by as I lay there reading Treasure Island.

14/07 - I was especially knackered this morning, and starving by about 0930. I also had and unexpected shadow shifter today, I have nothing to teach him. Nothing whatsoever. This proved somewhat embarrassing. As the forecast said it would be 36º today I went to the park and stayed until sunset.

15/07 - Actually I have to apologise for my tardiness today - I couldn't sleep at all last night, partly due to the heat here. Eventually at about 1 am I got to sleep, having tried on the sofa, and having a shower and going to bed soaking wet, etc. I woke up and turned off my alarms then made the fatal mistake of sitting down, and all of a sudden it was 0645 and I panicked - I rang the desk, rushed in and got there at 0750 or so, oh look nothing went wrong.

Some lady came and told me off, but I have no idea who she was, and so I was slightly disrespectful to her, or at least felt no real shame or remorse. I had, once again, eaten my lunch by about 10am, and had another one at 12, then after my shift I went home and had a little sleep, before going to the park to write my report for a while, I think. Dinner was, umm, I have completely forgotten. Probably not that good.

16/07 - As I have a flight to catch later I worked from home this morning. I then went to Montbrillant park for a while, where I got incredibly hot and sweaty working in the sun. My plane was late, again - to avoid import duty I checked in a big bag of wine (6 bottles, wrapped in coats), which was waiting for me by the time I got though passport control - Kelly met me there and we got home for about 8. Felt a bit odd and 'het up' as kelly put it, and I think I was a bit snappy at Ed, but our BBQ went very well. We had delicious steak, sausages, sardines, pork steaks and some good wine too. Paul and Clare came round, which was great - I feel like I haven't seen Clare in a while. Oh, also I put the Buck's Fizz from Fi's wedding in the freezer and forgot about it - I found it on Sunday, exploded and frozen. Bugger.

17/07 - Well, what to say about Lovebox - We got there about 1, started on the beers/ciders (they had roaming guys with backpacks full of booze) and sat in the sun for a while. I had, of course, made a spreadsheet of people to see - I don't remember the order, but I think we managed to see Man Like Me, The Correspondents, Swaharama (exquisitely dressed Indian rock band), Empire Of The Sun (they had dancers dressed as swordfish), and went into the dark and heat of the NYC Downlow stage to see Tim Westwood. He was pretty good, playing mixes of loads of songs by the same artist - including Will Smith, starting with the Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air theme. We also saw Wild Beasts, who were great but seemed better in the smaller venue of Rock City, and Yeasayer who were great too - wish we had been able to get closer.

18/07 - So today we had a leisurely breakfast at the Pavement Café, and headed back east. Today we saw the Destroyers (15 piece Balkan band), Vid Warren (a beatboxing harmonica & recorder player), a crazy Mexican lady and her band, a bit of Peaches (most notable for the giant naked pre-op transexual pushing her wheelchair) and some of Brass Roots, and then we had to rush over to Cut Copy - they were the real reason I wanted to come to Lovebox, and they were simply awesome. We caught a little of Hot Chip and then Chromeo, who were really good too. We ended with a spot of Grace Jones - we saw maybe 20 minutes of her, during which time she did about 5 costume changes. Incredible, terrifying lady.

19/07 - Oops… I met Ed in the morning, he had overslept by an hour (it was 0630) and then I left just before seven- this may well be the last time that I have to leave the house for Geneva for quite a while. Phew. Now, it was an interesting journey, I got the bus then the tube then the DLR, however as there was a 'suspect package' at Canning Town, my train was delayed and then terminated at Blackwall at 0745. Myself and four other business travellers (I was scruffy in flip flops, shorts and a plaid shirt with a canvas bag and a yellow duffel) squeezed into a cab and headed to the airport, where I was unable to use the automatic check in and so I had to go to a desk, but even after all this I still had time for a sandwich and a sit down. My plane was pretty empty, so I sat in the front row gazing at France as we passed for a while. I think I got in a bit early and headed home to write my report. I got a pizza in the evening and as I settled down to eat it I noticed that, as night had fallen, a few hundred bugs had come in and were clustering around my light - I then spent half an hour jumping about with an oven glove and a rolled up towel, swatting as many as I could. I felt a little silly, but I think I got them all, and I remain bite-free.

Shifts and hot days, and Frau & Nickie's wedding.

(I am writing this up to three weeks late as I have been on morning shifts most days, and so I have probably forgotten a lot of stuff)

06/07 - My shift was, as always, quite uneventful - it was tough being in the control room when it was brilliantly sunny outside. After my shift I went to Halle de Rive to buy some tasty chinese things and a beer, which I ate before falling asleep on the jetty out by the Jet d'Eau for an hour or so in the sun. Consequently I missed all the supermarkets, from which I was supposed to be getting sushi supplies for Dan and Sudan - Oops.

07/07 - I think I got about 4 hours of sleep, at the absolute maximum. My shift passed without incident, a very quiet one as usual. I headed to Bains Des Pâquis afterwards, where I walked straight into the bit reserved for women by accident. There were at least 50 topless ladies there who probably weren't best pleased by my presence. I went for a swim, had a beer and slept in the sun for a bit. I did this with my beer nestled in my elbow, and when I woke up I stretched and spilt the whole thing all over my side and my towel - pretty smooth. My towel still smells a little boozy, even now.

08/07 - I managed to have a bit of a doze in my shift today, from about 0730 to 0830, after which it proceeded much as usual. I went home and paid CHF 50 for my final month of internet with small change, which confused the lady in the office. I went for a wander down past L'Usine, where I found a dam, after which there was a bridge with a load of kids jumping off it - the current takes you downriver a bit, and there are various places to climb out and have a picnic or a beer - just down where the Rhône meets the Arve there is a cool bar with a couple of kegs and a little BBQ, so I had some drinks and watched the sun go down behind the cliffs on the far bank. After this I went to meet Dan and Sudan for dinner somewhere around Planpalais, so we went to an Eritrean/Ethiopian meal, which was amazingly tasty and also amazingly filling.

09/07 - I got up for a meeting which didn't happen, then packed my stuff and was off to the UK - there was an hour's delay on the way, which was rubbish but allowed me to finish Sherlock Holmes. Kelly and I met here friends Hamish, Emma and Anna at Donna Margherita pizzeria on Lavender hill - the pizza was awesome, but I was massively stuffed again - oops. I heartily recommend the pizza, but the starters are to be avoided.

10/07 - So today was Frau and Nickie's wedding day. Kelly, Ed and I went to Richmond where Rob Child was t pick us up - he got stuck in traffic for ages so we didn't get on the road for a while. It was really easy from Richmond onwards though, we had plenty of time to get ready and to have some drinks before the wedding. They had laid on a coach to the church, where we were ushed by Simon and Nikhil, the ushers. Frau looked remarkably composed, and Nickie looked amazing - it was quite a religious ceremony, which I did not expect. They had Jerusalem as one of the hymns, which was belted out with much enthusiasm. We then walked around the corner to the Underhills' house, where there was a marquee in garden, champagne and canapes and a perfect English countryside day. I managed to splash ketchup down my waistcoat and trousers, both of which were light blue. Dinner was good, we had stuffed chicken (some of which also went on my trousers - the waitress forbade me red wine as a result), pavlova, plenty of delicious wines, and excellent speeches by all - especially Owen (funny, risqué and breathless) and Frau (heartfelt, with good facts).

After the wedding breakfast concluded, the first dance was a barn dance - there was a compere in the middle of the dancefloor, directing us all about. I found the dancing exhausting, I did two dances then nearly died, so I had to take full advantage of the free bar. I had one more dance later, and there were DJs from 11-12ish, then coaches back to hotels. Mathers and Kam came back to our place, even though they were staying elsewhere, as they seemed convinced that that was were the party was. We had a couple of bottles of wine with us, and had a rowdy singalong in the garden without any complaints, probably because most of the guests were out with su. We went to bed at about half past two, after running out of drinks and songs.

11/07 - Kelly and I made it to breakfast at about 0945, where there was a full English buffet, exactly what I needed. I basically had two full plates of meat. We checked out a little late (they rang us at 1101 to inform us that we were late) and waited outside for Rob to pick us up. It was a lovely day and the journey back was quick, so we had a bit of a nap when we got back. Kelly had some work to do so I hung out with the others downstairs, then the two of us went down to Ukai for sushi, and got an ice cream and walked the long way home. When we got back we watched Black Book (good film, all in dutch, bit dark), then went to bed - as always, we didn't get much sleep as the plumbing was going bonkers and some neighbours seemed to be having a Sunday night party and it was too hot to close the window.

12/07 - I was up at 0615 and got the 0653 train, so I was in departures at 0734 for my 0815 flight - which was then delayed by 100 minutes. I used the time to buy some Pimms and a sandwich and some new sunglasses, then dozed on the flight and, as I got in pretty late, went home. I went to the shops and prepared some sandwiches for my shifts this week - I cooked ostrich and sausages and set fire to the hob a bit after a smokey episode. I think that's all I did, I just did washing and minced about the flat until it was time for bed. Oh, speaking of which, I seem to have broken the bed somehow - the bit of it which reclines, anyway. Hopefully they won't see this when I check out.

A brief account of a weekend in Paris with Pat & Reshmi

(I am writing this up to three weeks late as I have been on morning shifts most days, and so I have probably forgotten a lot of stuff)

30/06 - I can't say I am a big fan of these 0530 starts, but it does mean that I get a huge amount of daylight hours free afterwards - I met James and Dan at Bowling Meyrin as it was Dan's birthday (ish) and we played a quick three games, of which we won one each (I scored 149 in mine, including three strikes in a row, which I was quite proud of).

01/07 - After my shift today I went to the park and basked in the sun for an hour or two with a pizza - It was really nice and hot, I think I am beating Kelly in the tan race.

02/07 - I had a meeting at 1130 after which I got some work done and left at about four thirty to go and get a train to Paris. This occurred with no fuss, the journey was really beautiful - at one point the lady I was sitting next to told me that my wine smelt acrid, and probably had a "goût de vinaigre", which I felt was unfair considering it was wine I had just bought on a train. I thought it was fine, and complemented my burnt croque monsieur quite well. When I got to Paris I went to Pat and Reshmi's amazing top floor flat - it is in the Marais, in a)n awesome old building. They even have a little spare room, where Kelly and I stayed. It was stiflingly hot, so we left pretty soon to go and get some cold drinks. Kelly's plane was delayed, and she somehow ended up getting a cab all the way here with a couple of gay American dudes, who insisted on paying (which was lucky as she had no cash at all). We went out for a little dinner (I think I had steak tartare) at a place on P&R's road, then had some more drinks back in the flat.

03/07 - We had a bit of a lie in, in spite of the heat, and Pat and I went on a shopping trip to get stuff for lunch. Pat and I made fillet steak burgers, which we had in home-made brioche buns and also with slabs of home cooked foie gras - Reshmi made both of these, and they were delicious, athough the foie gras one was the richest thing I have eaten in a long while.

Pat had some work on his potential gold mining venture to do, so had a wander around the area with Reshmi, did some mild shopping then came back to get ready for dinner. We went to a place called L'Agrume, which was great. I had the assiette de charcuterie followed by the côte de veau, both of which were awesome. Kelly had the biggest oysters I have ever seen, and try as I might I was not able to bring myself to eat one - they just look a bit too gross. It was a nice little restaurant, and a great meal. After this we walked down to the Seine and watched the rollerbladers by Notre Dame. They were amazing, doing loads of cool stuff around a little slalom they had built, we watched for ages. Then it was time for tintos in a bar we passed (our lemonade had a superfluous firework in it) on our way to a fancy bar which was possibly called La Magnifique. We had some cocktails in there, which were delicious but unfortunately I have also forgotten which ones they were - it was pretty cool in there, until it started to fill up. We were moved once, as the lady claimed there was a reservation. We were quietly finishing our drinks in our new seats when she came up again, and essentially told us that we were not drinking enough and basically had not earned the right to be seated - the drinks, although delicious, were also pretty pricey, so we were a little hesitant to splash out on more. Also Kelly and I, unused as we were to the Parisian attitude to these things, were a little put out by being budged around, and got a bit annoyed at the place, so we left after finishing our drinks (veeery slowly). Also some greasy midget grabbed at Kelly as we passed, which didn't leave us with the best impression of the place. We walked back, as there was a dearth of cabs on the streets - it was a pretty warm night, and the walk was through some interesting bits of Paris. Kelly did turn me into a billboard for a 'gospel dream' concert, but I did not let that spoil the journey.

04/07 - Reshmi had an enormous hangover, and Pat had some work to do, so Kelly and I went out for a walk. We managed to misunderstand the system in a little deli, which led to the very stressful purchasing of some humous, and I grabbed a merguez kebab and a beer, which we ate and drank sitting down by the Seine. We explored Île St. Louis for a while, and bought some raspberry and rose Berthillon ice cream for Pat and Reshmi.

I took Kelly off to Châtelet Les Halles station on her way to the airport, and after saying goodbye (I hopped the barrier so I could come down to the platform, and then found I could not get out - I had to pretend to be part of a family to get out of the station). I found a Hare Krishna festival outside the station, and had a cheeky meal on my way home. Pat and I went for a drink in Place des Vosges, then met Reshmi in a café before dinner. They took me to one of their favourite bistros, a place called Chez Jalou. We were told we had to wait for half an hour or so, so when we got round the corner I rang them and asked for a table for three, and I was told 15 minutes - by the time we had got back I don't know if we saved any time, but I felt smug. The meal was great, I had baked goat's cheese (I think) for a starter, followed by an amazing pan-fried duck breast - It was a great restaurant, the waitresses were all friendly and helpful, and the wine was great. Pat and Reshmi have been good hosts, as much as work/hangovers have allowed, and I am looking forward to coming back here soon.

05/07 - In the morning Reshmi walked with me as far as the Metro station, as she was going to pick up another friend who was coming to stay (!). I slept most of the way to Geneva, then read Sherlock homes and went to CERN for a few hours, leaving with plenty of time to get to the supermarket and buy supplies for the next three days of shifts.