Day 244 (Sunday 15th) - Franz Josef
Somehow things took an unexpected turn after my last entry - I went to the bar and hung out with Rich, Adam, Tom and Chris (the priests and the plumbers), and we had a decidedly off-colour conversation, trading various stories and generally having a bit of a brag. most of our chat revolved around Taise and Fiona, the Brazilian and Scottish girls respectively. It was $5.50 jug night in the bar, which resulted in minor carnage. Also, I decided to break out the Jim Beam small batch I got at Christchurch airport, almost all of which went very quickly indeed. Consequently, the following day's bus ride was not very fun at all.
Day 245 (Monday 16th) - Franz Josef - Wanaka
A few people opted to do a skydive this morning over the glacier, which looked awesome. I decided to do one instead at Lake Taupo - apparently it's cheaper, and I really didn't fancy the 0600 wake up call. Today was rather a scenic day, as we went to Lake Matheson, a really beautiful mirror-calm lake, and a cool waterfall surrounded by mysterious cairns of rocks, and then arrived at Lake Wanaka for the night. I was in a room with Hans again (have I mentioned him? 32, English, used to work in the city, we've been in each other's company pretty much all the time since Christchurch), as well as Ronnie and Richard, two Scottish blokes. We watched King Kong on the TV in our room, before Hans and I went out for dinner and a drink with Stacey and Lindsay, a couple of nurses from England and Scotland respectively. Oddly, despite it only being about 8 pm, we found no where open at all apart from a couple of expensive restaurants, a grim looking kebab shop, and the Speight's Ale House where we ended up going. Dinner was awesome, a giant chicken burger washed down with a selection of Speight's finest ales. We came back and met Toby and Chris in the corridor - despite it being only about 9, they were utterly wasted and also the only ones who seemed to have been drinking. They were with the two new girls on the bus - Davina and another one, both of whom are incredibly hot. Chris, Toby, Dillon and I joined them, and found a bar round the corner with a few pool tables and some open fires. Chris and I teamed up to play pool, and won 4 games in a row, beating everyone. We rule. Also, somehow Chris managed to hook up with the girl whose name I can't remember, the bastard.
Day 246 (Tuesday 17th) - Wanaka - Queenstown
We got back on the bus, and Toby came and sat by me, stinking of booze, and still pretty drunk, and amusing as a result. We drove out of town to Puzzleworld, which had been recommended to me by Fi - it was awesome, I enjoyed it loads, went through the optical illusions and the Ames Room (think LOTR perspective tricks), as well as the cool maze - I was doing OK, but couldn't quite finish it without some minor cheating - I ducked under a couple of fences trying to find the last corner and the exit. We then rolled on to Queenstown via a fruit shop, for some much needed nutrients - we've been eating so much crap for the last few days, it was good to prepare for the next few days' hangovers. Queenstown seems awesome, it's a bit crap that I can't stay here longer, and also that I can't make it to Canada (I don't think), and also need to buy a ticket for another bus as there's no Kiwi bus on Thursday. Since we got on the bus today everyone's been pumped about getting wasted tonight, as that's the main thing to do here it seems, when there's no snow. Apart from the bungys off the bridge, the ledge, nevis, the canyon swing etc.
The night started pretty well, in altitude bar for some free shots with Dillon - it quickly degenerated as we were boozing in the room, getting rid of Tom's duty free - for some reason everyone decided that they owed me some booze because of last night, which is fine by me. Danish came in with a bottle of cheap Tequila and a glittery top hat (he couldn't find a glass) which he proceeded to fill and scoff the contents of - I've never seen anyone drink it like that, he got rid of half the bottle in the time it took me to have one beer. We moved on to World bar after a few drinks, and safe to say everyone had achieved their goals from the bus. They didn't let loads of us in as they were apparently too boozed. Anyway, I had a pretty good night, struck out with a chick or two, and proceeded to have a deep and meaningful, as well as slightly depressing, chat with Hans about failing to pull. He put forward the idea that it was due to his being of Indian ancestry - I told him this was utter balls, which now I think back could have been construed as an insult, i.e. it's not because you're Indian, you're just crap with girls. On the way back, around 4 am, we stopped off for a Fergburger - my second of the day (I had one for breakfast two - three in 24 hours). If you have been to Queenstown, you know why.
Day 247 (Wednesday 18th) - Hangovers And Swinging
Eugh. Yet another bad morning. I wandered out to enquire about the Canyon Swing, bumped into Toby in the street, and found out that they were going in about 10 minutes, so I joined them. Once on the bus I immediately regretted the decision, realising that I was essentially a coward when it comes to adrenalin activities. I made full use of the Disco Dunny at the site, then went down and got harnessed up. I went first out of all of us, and chose to go backwards. As a brief explanation, you get hooked onto a wire, then jump off a platform, fall 65 metres or so, before the wire picks up the tension and you swing for 200 metres or so, getting up to 150 kph at the fastest bit. To be honest, I was properly shitting it - my legs were shaking all over the place, I was white as a sheet, and it didn't help that the guys who run it are absolute dicks. They dangle you over the edge for a photo, pretend to drop you, and generally screw with you. They gave me loads of (completely unnecessary, it's perfectly safe) tips on how to jump and how not to jump, the various ways you can smash your head into the cliffs (you swing within 15 metres or so of them, it's fairly terrifying) and a load of other crap to freak me out further. Anyway, eventually I jumped, and I'm glad I did. I felt like a proper wimp a few moments later though, as Chris got strapped into a garden chair and lobbed off backwards, then ran off and tried a backwards somersault, whereas Toby managed 4 1/2 flips on his first one, and did the Gimp for his second - this involves hanging suspended by your feet, staring into the canyon, and then being released at random with no warning.
Anyway, we returned to town and bumped into Hans, Adam and Rich who were on their 3rd pints of a lunchtime session. We joined them for one, and Rich, Hans and I went up the gondola to go luging. This was awesome, and also apparently the most dangerous thing you can do in Queenstown, due to the strict safety measures on all the throw-yourself-off-stuff activities. We had 5 races, I came second in every one, which was rather disappointing. There's some gossip I quite want to chuck in here.... yeah why not, I'll be subtle about it. Someone, who I shall call Pete, got the Brazilian into his bed last night, although he claims nothing happened, and the annoyed look on his face tells me he's telling the truth. We saw her up at the top, and Hans acted like a teenager, nudging him to go talk to her, intentionally hanging back with me so that Pete would be alone with her, and other nonsense not befitting a 32 year old ex-banker. Funny though.
We came back down to the town and saw an indoor mini-golf place. Our beers hadn't quite worn off yet, so we thought it was an awesome idea to go and have a game. It was cool, but 18 holes was a bit much. It did have various moving parts and mini skilifts etc, but it took us far too long. Exhausted, we went back for dinner/a kip/a beer (I had venison curry - delicious), then met up in the bar later on. Oddly, it was bingo night in the bar, which was kind of dull. There was a pervading atmosphere of lethargy amongst us, until I suggested that Toby and I get some whiskey and cokes (2 for $8 - an irresponsible and wonderful price) to wake us up. We variously went to Altitude, Buffalo and eventually (against our better judgement) back to World bar. They played a bit of drum & bass in the first two places, which made a welcome change from the R & B and other nonsense they had been playing all night. Anyway, had some teapots of cocktails in the latter, and had a better night than last night, despite Hans pushing me at girls for a while. Back at the hostel, I spaffed about $6 on the massage chair (which I did last night as well), while trying not to look at 'Pete' and Taise who were making out in the chair next to me, before disappearing upstairs. I'm glad this happened, as she was by far the hottest girl on the bus, and everyone had been rooting for him - in a kind of "if it can't be me, I'm glad it's him" sort of way.
Day 248 (Thursday 19th) - Queenstown - Christchurch On A Horrible Bus
Yet another horrible morning, except that this time I had to check out by 10. A few of the boys had to leave at half 6 this morning to go to Milford sound, but as we went to bed at 4 they all failed. Hans uttered a particularly fantastic phrase - when Chris woke him up, he rolled over, and announced very loudly "Tell them that Hans does not go to Milford Sound" before falling straight back to sleep for about 6 more hours. I went out to find some food, ended up back at Fergburger, where I bumped into Marco - as in Marco from the Oz Bus and the Whitsundays. We had a bit of a catch up, but unfortunately I had to leave and try and find my ticket for the bus to Christchurch. This bus was the crappest one I've been on since Chiang Mai - the journey was incredibly cramped, unbelievably hot, and really really long. I got on at 1445, and didn't arrive at Base Christchurch until 2145 - rubbish. Add this to the fact that my neck was in a lot of pain from jumping around last night - I keep having embarrassing little flashes of memory, mainly involving a lot of hair in my face to a soundtrack of Rage Against The Machine or similar. Anyway, my neck is really stiff, and I spent most of the 7 hours trying to bend myself into a comfortable position to sleep. I failed.
Day 249 (Friday 20th) - Christchurch - Kaikoura
Up at 0615 and back on the Kiwi bus. There were only 18 people on it today, in contrast to the fully packed buses I've been on since Christchurch. There are a few lads from Borehamwood, a Dutch guy (who I just accused of being Canadian) called Jos, and a few English girls - none of these people are heading up to Wellington, unfortunately. The people who are, only 6 of them, I have yet to really meet. We arrived in the stunning town of Kaikoura before noon, for some scenic views and whale watching, after a crayfish lunch, which was delicious (Kaikoura means 'to eat crayfish' in maori, apparently). The whale watching was cool, we saw three of them (well, one twice) and some Dusky Dolphins, as well as Fur Seals and a Wandering Albatross (the bird with the largest wingspan in the world). The other people on the bus went Dolphin watching - or intended to, and it got cancelled. This evening we are (at the insistence of the Borehamwood boys) playing Ring Of Fire, and a few other things. I was hoping that this would be a relaxing night, after Queenstown - turns out I was wrong. Oh, I should add, Jos had been reading this over my shoulder since I began Tuesday, and even had the gaul to correct my grammar. The cheek - I know who I'll be nominating in Ring Of Fire.
NB: Jos ended up drinking 750ml of vodka, straight, before 8pm, and proceeded to threaten various lives and wet himself on the carpet in our room. Classy.
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